Do Maine Coon Cats Hold Grudges? (Explained)

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Welcome, Crazy Cat People!

Your Maine coon has angered you, you shouted at them. Of course, you feel guilty, you are a caring feline lover just like me but will your Maine coon hold a grudge against you and seek revenge?

I have studied the behaviour of cats for several years and have used my knowledge of them to answer your question.

As a general rule, Maine Coons cats don’t think with the complexity a human does, so they don’t hold grudges. A one-off incident may quickly be forgotten, but a repeated pattern of being mistreated will teach your Maine coon by association not to trust you and break trust over time.

Your cat will forgive you but let’s dive into the reasons why cats don’t hold grudges, how to make amends to your angry Maine coon and also a few tips on how to help a cat who has been abused by a previous owner!

Keep reading crazy cat people to learn more!

Check out my full post to find out if Maine coons are aggressive, the different types of aggression in cats and how to deal with a mean cat in the correct way.Click here to take a look or bookmark for a later read!

Do Maine Coon Cats Hold Grudges?

So you have shouted at your cat. Maybe they have attacked you or they have done a pee right on your bed and it angered you.

They are now hiding from you under the bed and won’t come out.

The guilt you feel as a cat mommy or daddy can be extreme and you’re wondering if your little fur baby will ever forgive you.

Has humans we can hold grudges even if someone has annoyed us once but we are not that different to cats in the way we behave and process what has happened.

If your partner or your mom was to anger you, you have built up a relationship with them over time so you are more likely to forgive them and get over their angry outburst quickly but if a stranger has angered you then you may judge them on that one interaction and decide not to deal with them again.

Your Maine coon cat is the same with some slight differences.

Cats don’t think with the same level of complexity as a human. Just because you stepped on their tail once doesn’t mean that 2 hours later they will plot sweet revenge on you by doing a poopie on your bed or purposely destroying your furniture.

Instead your Maine coon will spot patterns over time and don’t get me wrong if they are mistreated frequently then they will learn not to trust you and will remember that pattern of how you made them feel.

Cats learn by association whether negative or positive.

They are creatures of habit they will hold a record over time and learn to see you as being either the provider and hero or the villain, they will keep a mental note of their experiences with.

Maine coon cats are friendly, playful and gentle giants so make sure you don’t repeatedly break their trust and you will have a close companion for life.

How to Apologise to an Angry Maine Coon?

If you have angered your sweet little Maine coon then it’s important to make amends as soon as possible, they are not holding a grudge they may just be temporarily scared of you.

Work out why your cat is angry, what you did and make a mental note to not do it again. If it was an accident then this can not always be prevented.

Either way, give them space if they need it and wait for them to come to you.

Talk in a pleasant relaxing tone and offer them treats and affection, the key here is to make sure that the final interaction you have with your Maine coon is a positive one.

I don’t want you to feel like I’m teaching you how to suck eggs here but you know how you would make it up to a human and it’s the same with your cat.

You have to remember that you are a good cat daddy or mommy and you provide their essential needs, you give them love and affection and you have a good track record with them so they shouldn’t be angry with you for very long.

It won’t be long before they are in your arms again, Maine coons LOVE attention!

Learn to spot the differences between one-off anger and chronic stress, if your cat is angry often then it’s time to act.

Is your cat stressed due to not having an enriching environment?

Are they forced to share essential items such as litter trays, toys and beds with other pets?

Are you sticking to a routine with your cats?

Remember if it’s a one-off stressor then cats won’t stay that way for long, the Maine coon is very forgiving and gentle.

So if you upset them by accident forgive yourself and nurture the trust you have built with them.

Will Your Maine Coon Forget they Have Been Abused?

There is nothing that breaks my heart worse than knowing that someone could purposely abuse a cat.

Even though your Maine coon cat will learn to forgive and not hold a grudge for a one-time event abuse is different.

When a cat is abused, they are hurt on a whole different level, deep psychological abuse can have a lasting effect on your cat. When the trauma is repeated over time it is hard for them to forget and they may act suspicious of humans.

If you adopted a cat who has previously been mistreated and traumatised then I can’t thank you enough, you beautiful human being.

This world needs more of you!

When you develop that trust with your cat over time it will be the most rewarding experience you will have had in your life, it may be hard and will require patience on your part and it can often be a long process but you will get there.

They may bolt at loud noises, avoid being around you and be scared of your touch at first.

It’s important to take your time, show them love when they come to you and give your Maine coon lots of treats.

More importantly, it’s important to be aware of their triggers.

Are they triggered by certain sounds?

Are they scared of your hand? (Very common in abused cats)

An abused cat may hideaway for quite some time. Have patience and give them the love they deserve.

When you have put your cat detective hat on and found out their triggers it’s important to build up new associations to those triggers. Remember your Maine coon learns by association.

Slowly expose them to those triggers over time and as they gradually start to feel safer being exposed to those triggers offer them a treat or toys to play with just after the exposure. This will help them become de-sensitised to associations they see as being negative.

For a cat who is scared of your hands, you don’t want to go straight in and put your hand in their face instead let your Maine coon explore your hand slowly, hold one finger out and let them eventually rub up against you and show you where they want to be petted.

Let them take the lead and eventually they will learn that the hand is not used to abuse them but to comfort them and feel safe.

My heart bleeds as I write this and I’m sure yours does too.

Hang in there, have patience and I guarantee when your Maine coon learns to trust you they will slowly start to forget of their troubled past.

One more thing, use the slow blink to build trust.

Some people call it the ”Kitty Kiss’, this is where you look at them and slowly blink a few times. This signals to your cat that you are not a threat to them and that you feel relaxed around them.

Eventually, they will start to give you a ”kitty Kiss” back, always avoid staring at an abused cat, this will make them feel even more threatened.

Check out these other cool posts within this series

Click the links to take a look

Do Maine Coons Get Jealous?

Are Maine Coons Territorial?

Do Maine Coons Bite? (Ouchie)

Do Maine Coons Scratch Furniture?

As always take care of yourself and your little fur babies!

Mark (The Crazy Cat Man)


Mark loves Cats, he is the Daddy to two little cats who you will see throughout his blog. He has a passion for Cat care and enjoys everything cat-related. You could call him the crazy cat man.

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